Monday, 1 June 2015

I'm seeing double

Don't be afraid if there is no wind in my hair, I'm seeing double.

Oh fuck, he broke my heart. I don't even know how to admit it this time. It was irrational insane and I'm ashamed to say that for the first time in my life I felt smitten.

I don't do fucking smitten. Oh gawd, I did fucking smitten.

And I broke it and he left because I wanted him to and I didn't want him to but I expected it and he did the expected.

I always wonder if there will be someone who will not leave when he sees the hell that I am. I doubt it but I live with optimism.

My dad said that he guessed that no man could tame me but I think it just came down to no man ever being able to love me.

Sorry, dad. Sorry, him.

At least I tried.

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