Turtles All The Way Down

Book 55 is Turtles All The Way Down by John Green.

It is rare for me to like a John Green so I can't for the life of me work out why I picked this up.

To clear things up quickly, I didn't like it.

It's the typical pattern or quotes from other people, teenage angst-love-heartbreak and Green summing up the whole point of the story in the last two chapters.

I'd wonder like to ask if he writes the end of his books first and then fills in the justification for them because it all feels too rushed and doesn't always fit.

Even the title of the book is hollow in its use in the story.

These books are for teenagers and having not been one for many years, I can happily say that this book may appeal to other when it did not to me.

2 predictable twists with dead parents out of 5.

Should I read this? If you are under 20 years old, maybe.
What did I learn? I'm over 20 years old.

A Short Guide to a Happy Life

Book 54 is A Short Guide to a Happy Life by Anna Quindlen.

I go through self-help book phases during the year and the one problem that brings is that you can read something amazing next to something less amazing and falls short.

So, I must ask: Does it fall short because something else read so recently was better?

Not in this case. A lot of this is fairly obvious stuff that you'd see posted on facebook as an image with a background of the Grand Canyon. I see why it would be good for a speech given to youngens starting out in their lives and careers but all I got was validation.

Maybe validation is enough. You're doing it right. Keep doing that good thing.

For me, I'm not reading self-help books to fix anything but more to constantly improve as a human being. To be a better person to myself and to others. This book did not give me more tools and I am sure that is why I didn't rate it. Others may love it.

2 warm hearted quotes out of 5.

Should I read this? No. I don't think I'd recommend it to anyone at all.
What did I learn? There are too many self-help books sprouting nothing helpful. It's as though validating someone's life is enough. That's not helpful to me

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It

Book 49 is Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant.

I wanted to love his book like I love myself but it felt like a sales pitch.

Kamal did sound sincere and vulnerable but he also sounded like he was selling an inflatable version of self confidence. Not the fake self confidence but truly believing in yourself.

As a disciple of cognitive behavioural therapy, I know you can reset your pathways and think differently. He didn't even touch the science around that. It was more of a "I got dumped and now someone loves me" chant. I wanted to hear that he was OK alone, not that he was OK in a relationship.

Disappointed at every turn, all I can agree with is something I've always told people myself: Give yourself oxygen before you help others.

There are many better books on this subject. Don't waste a couple of hours on this.

2 sales pitches of 5.

Should I read this? Sadly, no. Grab Brene Brown or Trevor Noah. There are many better ways to the same destination.

What did I learn? No one else can complete you. Being able to fall in love and be loved back does not define you. Standing alone is done alone and then others may join. He failed to express this.

Hopeless Magic

Book 30 of 2017 is Hopeless Magic from the Star-Crossed series the by Rachel Higginson.

I read the first book from this series a month ago and enjoyed it enough to want to read the second book.

After finishing this arduous read with a whining teenage girl and her band of merry teenage men chasing her along with the "once you have sex you are bonded for life" message, I was glad it ended. There will be no more reading from this conservative non-subtle instruction on how young women cause trouble by speaking their minds and should think carefully of who they will marry because he owns you forever.

It. Was. Painful.

This had to have been written by a middle aged suburban housewife who wished she had never married her boring muggle husband.

1 spoilt Omaha teenage victim out of 5.

Should I read this? No. The first book ends implying more lies ahead in this book but nothing does.
What did I learn? First books in a series should be standalone.

Life After Life

Book 11 of 2017 is Life After Life by Kate Atkinson.

This book has been on my To Read list for quite some time. It turns up a lot on "best books of the year" lists. I can not for the life of me work out why.

The idea is good. It is a WWII Groundhog Day but in the end, I couldn't like the main character or her family. One thing I will say is that the first half of the book was thoroughly boring. The second half almost redeemed it but is it ever worth sticking with it?

2 alternative lives out of 5.

Should I read this? No, don't.
What did I learn? Nothing is perfect. No life is perfect. I'd rather just do it once.

The North Water

Book 9 of 2017 is The North Water by Ian McGuire.

This book is full or gore and great examples of the worst kind of men imaginable. I did not enjoy it at all. There wasn't anything that redeemed it in any way.

It is hard to say if my quest to read more female authors and the eight I read prior to this book meant that the very male story, characters and theming seemed over the top. The killing of animals, people and an awful chapter about pouring puss out of a man's abdomen was just too much. It wasn't even done in a way that made it fit properly. It was like the author would pause once in a while and describe something disgusting in great detail. That behaviour also distracted from the story.

Two polar bears out of five.

Should I read this? No. There are many better books in this genre.
What did I learn? Reading a majority of male writers desensitises me things I don't like in some male writing. There is certainly a different voice.

Cyber Storm

Book 20 of 2016 is Cyber Storm by Matthew Mather.

Another Kindle Unlimited book that disappointed me beyond belief. Despite the 3.7 star rating on GoodReads, this book failed miserably.

The whole story is quite a good version of a technical apocalypse that is completely negated in the last couple of chapters. I was going to give this a 3.5/5 before the final play. It was shockingly bad.

One lazy ending out of five.

Should I read this? Do not read this book. Ever.

What did I learn? A bad author doesn't know how to end a story and can ruin it at summation.

Beauty

Book 68 of 2015 is Beauty by Robin McKinley.

McKinley wrote one of my favourite fantasy books of all time, Sunshine. She refused to write a sequel probably because she knew it was so good. This has resulted in to reading a whole bunch of mediocre books she has penned.

Beauty and the Beast is one of my favourite Disney movies but not my favourite fairy tales. I've read and watched quite a few incarnations of this famous story and have been delighted along the way. This was not one of them. It was a boring version. No, seriously. Imagine making this so British that nothing happened and then take steroids. That was this book.

3 reboots out of 5.

Should I read this? No. Read it if like me you love Beauty and the Beast stories.
What did I learn? It is hard to justify giving your daughter to a beast just to save your life. There are no real grounds.

How to Run with a Naked Werewolf

Book 65 of 2015 is How to Run with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper.

I can truly recommend reading an electoral pamphlet over this. Maybe a street sign. Just do not read this tripe.

Let's not spent more time on this than anyone should.

1 badly implemented heroine out of 5.

Should I read this?  No.
What did I learn? I do love vampire chick lit but this stuff is shite.

A Brief History of Seven Killings

Book 61 of 2015 is A Brief History of Seven Killings by Marlon James.

This is the first time that I have read a Man Booker Prize winner as soon as it won and I don't think I'll be doing that ever again.

This book was written in an interesting way. The voices were distinct and I've not see that done this well in a while.

The problem is that I was sick of the rape and killings in the fifth chapter. The rest was awful.

Was I supposed to me shocked and challenged by that? If so, I was just bored.

Just because the words are strung together well, does not mean this is a good book to read.

3 confronting black references out of 5.

Should I read this? If you like literature for the sake of it then maybe.
What did I learn? Literature should still offer something to people who aren't snobby book types.

The Paper Magician

Book 49 of 2015 is The Paper Magician by Charlie N. Holmberg.

The idea behind this series of books is pretty cool but it was too whiny for me. The main character could be strong but she always flies back to girly and in need of a man to love her every few chapters. Painful.

This must be for teenagers. I need to check these things more thoroughly and not just read the popular stuff. Yes, I've said this before.

3 elements that aren't elemental out of 5

Should I read this? No, this is a bit too whiny for me.
What did I learn? Magical fantasy is so formulaic. 

A Mind for Numbers: How to Excel at Math and Science (Even If You Flunked Algebra)

Book 48 of 2015 is A Mind for Numbers by Barbara Oakley.

This is supposed to be about basic maths and helping you find ways to enjoy it if you haven't in the past. It is written by a maths professor. It is absolutely chaotic and I can only assume there is some bigger system at play.

Yeah, yeah, I'm a mathematician and will find it simple but the reason I read it was to find new ways of thinking about maths. There were a few suggestion but it jumped around all over the place. I can't imagine someone who already dislikes maths liking it after this.

Apart from the pondering on diffused thinking, this didn't hold much for me.

2 random thoughts out of 5.

Should I read this? No. Read another maths book.
What did I learn? A smart person does not a good teacher make and a good teacher does not a good writer make.

Looking For Alaska

Book 30 of 2015 is Looking for Alaska by John Green.

He is one of those best selling authors that you always intend to read but are not sure what to expect. This was what I expected. A book written for young adults with the pretense of depth and a whole lot of quotes strung together.

There are audiences for this book, I am sure. They are just not me.

The characters are predictable. The plot is obvious. It is something John Hughes would direct.

This is for young people. Hey you kids, get off my lawn!

3 teenage crushes out of 5.


Should I read this? Only if you are between the ages of 13 and 16 years and haven't embraced the good books your English teachers keep pushing on you.
What did I learn? The trauma experienced by white middle class American kids cannot hold my attention for more than about... oh look, a castle!

Thief's Magic

Book 28 of 2015 is Thief's Magic by Trudi Canavan.

Ok, this woman is one of my favourite Aussie writers. I loved The Black Magician trilogy. Far too much fantasy is written by men and often feels like a bad porno mixed with Mills & Boon in another dimension where people don't shower often.

Fantasy written by female authors has more dimensions. I'm not being sexist! It really does.

The thing that disappointed me about this is that she is writing a trilogy and not a story. She is doing a Wheel of Time set up that obviously sucks you in but doesn't actually satisfy anything. What I loved about Black Magician was that the story held strong the whole time. You didn't have to finish the journey. You wanted to.

I won't be reading the rest of the books despite my loyalty. It just wasn't good enough. Cut the complexity and got back to good story writing.

Three colliding destinies out of five.

Should I read this? No. There are MUCH better series to get suck in to. This is not even close to one of them.
What did I learn? Your favourite writer can sell out to get richer and that sucks.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

Book 27 of 2015 is Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling.

Another memoir by a celebrity that I have never heard of until picking up this book.

She is endearing and funny but in the same way she says that she doesn't like women infantilizing themselves, she goes right ahead and does it anyway. That kind of sums up the entire book. She comes across as having self awareness and then demonstrates a lack of it.

Yes, she is successful and brilliant but she comes across in writing as a clueless spoiled little rich Indian girl brought up in the US to parents who are doctors.

Her trials are trials or she isn't honest about any pain. There is next to nothing that made this worth the read. Maybe she needs to live a little longer and not write a teeny memoir with no interesting events at age 30 something.

2 spoiled little rich girls out of 5.

Should I read this? No. Try Tina Fey or Amy Poehler's autobiographies first. This women needs to live a little more before trying to write another book. I'm sure she writes comedy well but this doesn't make me want to watch anything she writes. Such a shame because I had high hopes.
What did I learn? You can't make up having had a challenging life when you haven't at all.

Fifty Shades of Grey

Book 24 of 2015 is Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James.

I attempted to read this when it first came out and was a big deal. My attempted failed about 50 pages in when I couldn't stand the overly simplistic immature female character bored me. As I passed page 50 this time, I felt the same but pushed through it because a couple of my friends insisted that I shouldn't write off a book as rubbish if I had never read the whole thing.

So, I read it.

The writing is still rubbish and the story is predictable. I've read better erotic fiction. Think Delta of Venus. This is not a series I will continue.

To counter that though, there were a few things I liked. I liked the way it ended. It is the first time in the entire book that I had any respect for the main character and that is tragic in itself.

The understanding of BDSM is also simplistic. The word simplistic describes this book in all its dimensions and it doesn't have that many dimensions. The implication that an abused child becomes a BDSM enthusiast is a correlation that I openly challenge.

In the end, I will put this in the group of at least people are reading something books. It is entertaining enough but not a book I would recommend or a series I will pursue. Now my criticism is based on having read more than 50 pages. It was an easy read. Simplistic.

1 stinging red welt out of 5.

Should I read this? There are better examples from this genre so, no.
What did I learn? Reading the first 50 pages of a book is enough to write it off.

Funny Girl

Book twelve of 2015 is Funny GIrl by Nick Hornby.

I always want to love Nick Hornby books because I do like the movies based on them. Unfortunately, I just can't enjoy his writing in the way others do. I own that. It is quite possible that he is the amazing engaging writer everyone talks about but that just isn't how I breathe it.

Funny Girl is interesting enough. It is written mainly in the place of the female protagonist and that really isn't Hornby's thing. He writes men and bromance well. He needs to stick to that.

Two Lucille Balls out of five.


Should I read this? Only if you loved every other book this man ever wrote. Otherwise, waste your time on any other book.
What did I learn? Even amazingly beautiful women are insecure about how attractive they are.